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Thoughts for a Woman's Heart |
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encouragement in things that matter |
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Letting Go
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"To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off; it is the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to change or blame another; I can only change myself." These are familiar words written by an unknown author. They reflect a journey that many of us are on. There are those times in life when we want to hold on tightly and we know we can’t. We realize that God’s intent and design is to give freedom to what may be woven into the very fabric of our heart or securely clutched in the palms of our existence. To hold on at those times diminishes my own potential and may also diminish the potential of another. We arrive at that place of knowing I need to let go, but then we ask the question, "How?"
Through my own journey, I see three very basic answers to that question. The hard part of letting go is acceptance, but that is where the journey must begin. Emotions can run rampant, but especially at the beginning, I need to accept them. They are real; they are valid; they are mine. God may adjust them in time, but I cannot deny them. I must also accept the situation itself. In order to appropriately respond to what is happening or has happened, I need to define the situation as accurately as possible – that’s truth. Truth helps me see what I need to let go of. A silent wife with an abusive husband may need to let go of her false sense of peace or the enabling that she gives to her husband. For the wife whose abusive husband has a restraining order against him, she may need to let go of her dream for life the way she had wanted it to be. Belief makes letting go possible – a belief in God’s forever personal presence, a belief in God’s ultimate good and purpose that allows every paint stroke of my life to be part of a much bigger picture, a belief in God’s gift of grace that enables me to walk the walkable path He lays out before me. Lastly, letting go requires willingness. I need a willingness to recognize my own inadequacies whether it be a wrong attitude, a wrong motivation, manipulation, or an inability to change other people. I need a willingness to respond to God’s directive in drawing boundaries, building bridges, returning kindness for hostility, or just simply waiting. My greatest asset will be a willingness to pray, and to pray again, and again. God wants to hear from us, and He wants us to know He has heard our need. Our unknown author also says, "To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment." Our loving Father-God can help us reach that part of our journey. |
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— Bev |
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