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Thoughts for a Woman's Heart |
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encouragement in things that matter |
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Family Forgiveness
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The last chapters of Genesis tell the story of Joseph’s family. It is a story of anguish, despair, and desperation. As memories are relived, accusations and fears surface. Brothers plead for patience, for a beloved father, and for a younger brother who holds a place of honor with their father. Joseph responds with intense, almost agonizing emotion, and offers forgiveness – a forgiveness that unites the family with joy, freedom, and provision – a forgiveness that is rehearsed and assured when family dynamics could have changed following the death of their father. Family forgiveness – giving one of the most precious gifts God has given us to someone in that very unique group of people that I became part of through birth, adoption, marriage, or the blending of two families. It is a forgiveness that can be very difficult to give. Possibly only the forgiveness of a stranger who has committed a heinous crime against one’s self or against a loved one, surpasses the degree of difficulty that is faced when forgiveness needs to be extended to a member of my own family – a spouse, a child, a parent, or even a sibling. Why? Our families from birth through death help to define who we are as individuals. The old adage, "Home is where the heart is," speaks to the issues of the heart that we look for fulfillment of within our families – love, acceptance, significance, commitment, encouragement, security, nurturing, validation, and emotional and spiritual support. The love that draws a family together, can also be very vulnerable when love that is given, is not returned. We are also quicker to create expectations for those we love, than for our "just friends" and casual acquaintances. Our husbands should understand us. They should know how to respond to us. Our parents should fulfill their roles as loving, caring, supportive nurturers. We teach our children and give to them in abundance, and we expect something to come back to us. Brothers and sisters share in a common heritage and in the joys and disappointments of growing up together. Surely, the cohesiveness of that bond would assure a lifetime of togetherness. But these things don’t always happen. Within our families, offenses occur and hurts result. Expectations are not met, and the blood that runs thick can often clog the arteries of forgiveness. Joseph freely gave forgiveness because he was able to see God in all that had happened to him. He was able too to see his brothers with love and compassion. He acknowledged their wrong, but he looked beyond it to God’s grace in his own life, and extended that same grace to his brothers. And the joy and freedom that he experienced with his family, is possible with our families as well. |
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— Bev |
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