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Thoughts for a Woman's Heart |
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encouragement in things that matter |
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I’m Sorry ...
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I’m sorry I don’t meet your expectations. I know I disappoint you, although I know I try. Trying, it seems, isn’t always enough. We are alike in so many ways, and yet we are different. God cut us each from a different mold. We each have our own interests, our own strengths, and our own weaknesses. God uses all of those – even our weaknesses. He has tempered each of us with different life experiences. Those have taken our natural tendencies and sometimes broadened and enlarged them, and sometimes distorted them. Sometimes I want to be much more like the others in my world – but I’m not. I work hard to find appropriateness and balance. I work hard to discern what and who God wants me to be. I work hard to please. It’s my nature, and yet I know I cannot always do it. When my own distinctives irritate or annoy you, or worse, cause you to turn your back, I am saddened. I question who I am and what I have done. I wonder which lessons I missed that so many seem to have learned. Is there a perspective I just don’t understand? Am I totally insensitive to the social cues and the unspoken rules around me? Do I not accurately hear the whispers of God’s Spirit? Your angry words deaden my spirit. It’s easier that way. I was always told that "love hurts." I understand. I had hoped our differences would blend to make us both better people, but instead it seems they rub like sandpaper. I cannot ignore you. You are too much a part of my world – too much a part of my heart. And I know sometimes you don’t believe that. That saddens me more. In the depth of my sadness though, God speaks, and His quiet whisper is deliberate and penetrating. My daughter, you are my special possession. I treasure you more than the birds of the air or the flowers of the field. I have created and fashioned you as an expression of Myself. All the weavings of your life are ordained by Me. My thoughts of you are precious. I have made you as you are to accomplish My own purposes. You are fully loved and fully accepted, chosen by Me and lavished with My grace. God’s whisper met me in my sadness, and my spirit cradled itself deeply in His love. He alone is the One I seek to please, and I long to hear His words, "Well done." But in pleasing Him, I know I must respond to you in godly ways. I may not always meet your expectations, but as God’s whisper leads me, I will keep on trying. |
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— Bev |
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