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Thoughts for a Woman's Heart |
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encouragement in things that matter |
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Of Love and Friendship
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You give a friend a warm hug and quietly and intensely say the words, "I love you." You squeal with delight when she gives you a gift that is so definitely "you," and the words bubble out excitedly, "I love you!" When we say those three simple and yet profound words to a friend, what do they mean? I know the basic definition of love is "meeting the needs of the one I say I love." I also recognize the limitations of that love on a human level. We pattern our love after God’s love that fully meets us in our need whether that need is for salvation or for the necessities of day to day living. Humanly though, none of us are capable of meeting all of another’s needs, and when we move into the sphere of friendship, limitations on our capacity for giving love can almost seem like flaws in the relationship. Our words though are intensely spoken and deeply felt. When we hear those words spoken to us, our heart is knit together with the heart of the one who spoke them, but, what do they mean?
"I love you" says, " I value you. I appreciate you. I am concerned about the things that concern you. I enjoy being with you. I want what is best for you. I believe in you." That love is also backed up with actions that give – time to just listen, time to pray, time to have fun together, energy to share concerns, giving a gift or a hug, helping each other to juggle priorities and perspectives, holding another’s child, picking up groceries or bringing over a plate of cookies when a friend is sick. But when I say "I love you" – because I love you – I also want you to be an individual, to have your own "space." I will respect and encourage you in your other responsibilities and commitments. I will allow for other friendships in your life, and other ideas and perspectives that do not mirror my own. I will recognize and accept our differences, and be willing to talk through any difficulties created by those differences. I will accept your idiosyncrasies and shortcomings because I know I have my own. If you create expectations for me, I will probably fail, but I want to give you the best that I can. I will be open and honest with you, and I desire you to return a like openness and honesty.
The rose petals of friendship can seem very delicate, and when friendship is held within our heart, its thorns can prick. When friendship is wrapped in the words, "I love you," its beauty can be fully enjoyed.
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— Bev |
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