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Thoughts for a Woman's Heart |
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encouragement in things that matter |
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The Woman of My Heart
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Allison screamed again in rage at her two preschoolers who had by now sought the refuge of their beds, wet faces buried in their pillows. Allison turned, pulled the door forcefully behind her, and felt the engulfing guilt and shame consume her. Sobs convulsed her body and she knelt in a crumpled heap beside the couch. "Oh God!" she anguished. "Why the anger? Why can’t I respond in love to my own children?" Haunting scenes from another childhood – her own – tugged at her mind. Her restless soul cried out again, "Oh God!"
Allison was a believer. Together with her husband, they were active in their local church. Allison was tireless in her eagerness both to learn and to serve. She even managed to squeeze in a few minutes, almost every day, for a devotional time. With her friends, she could be outgoing and seemingly light-hearted. Few though knew the woman of her heart. Allison wasn’t quite sure she did.
Perhaps you identify with Allison. Many more would identify with her privately than publicly. Perhaps you have not had the same struggles as Allison, but few, if any, know the woman of your heart. As a community of believers, even without legalistic rules of "do and don’t," we still do a pretty good job of blending in with each other. At least outwardly. If there are problems or difficulties, we have lists of suggestions – some very Biblical, some practical, some very relieving. But the questions, the doubts, the feelings, the unmet expectations, gnaw at the inner spirit. The woman of the heart is ignored.
Just as certainly as the woman you present to others is known and loved by God, so too is the woman of your heart. 1 Peter 3:8 speaks of the hidden woman of the heart, and when Psalm 139:17 says, "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!" that woman that lives within the depths of your spirit is included.
Some of you identified with Allison. Others know the conflict of emotions and the fatigue of caring for aging parents or a chronically ill child. The arrogant and spiteful verbal attacks of a teenager can crush a parent’s spirit. Your hopes and ideals for your home and your marriage may have long since been set aside. Jobs, friendships, loneliness, personal sickness – all can take their toll. We learn to cope, but do we allow God’s spirit to minister? God longs for the woman of my heart to trust Him, to learn of His love, and be able to love Him in return. Trust believes enough to look in God’s direction. God will do the rest.
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— Bev |
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