My sins pile up so high I can’t see my way out. They outnumber the hairs on my head. I have lost all courage. Honest Christianity in today’s look-good, never-be-defeated Christian community could echo those words, but seldom are they heard. David’s psalms though are full of honesty and reality, and he is the one who spoke those words to the thousands and thousands of us who would follow him, and who would need to know that not only are we not alone in our struggle with sin, but also that there is a way to respond to sin, to find God’s enablement, and to keep on walking as believers. Discouragement with our own failures can keep us from approaching God and disable any attempt to reach for something better.

 

In the same fortieth psalm that is willing to acknowledge his sin, David speaks too of God’s response to our sin. He turns to me. Remember when Peter’s resolve was not enough to keep him from openly being identified with Jesus? The darkness and weight of Calvary was descending on the One Peter fully loved, and Peter adamantly denied any knowledge of Him. And, at that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. The bitterness of Peter’s tears expressed the sorrow of his heart, a sorrow evoked by the intense, but gentle piercing, of Jesus’ knowing look. God heard Peter’s anguished cry, even as He heard David’s. David’s words of assurance continue. He lifts me out of the pit of despair. He steadies me as I walk along. He takes no delight in sacrifices or offerings. He makes me listen, and finally, I understand. There is a time and a place for our sacrifices, but that which delights God is our obedience. Like David, coming to an understanding of God’s direction may reflect the parent-child interactions when we as moms have spoken calmly, but directly with our child, "Look me in the eye and listen carefully." And as with our own children, God is relentless in His pursuit of our obedience.

 

David’s resolve is undergirded by God’s promises. I will take joy in doing your will, O God. Your unfailing love and faithfulness will protect me. You will avenge those who have wronged me. You will fill me with joy and gladness. Paul expressed his own resolve when he said, "We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort ... Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage." And for those of us who acknowledge that sin, even for the believer, is an ongoing inner conflict in one way or another, Paul adds, "I don’t mean to say I have reached perfection – but I press on."