The lesson before me was really one I did not want to teach. Just the week before, the reality of the lesson had been all too vividly played out again in my own life. I had turned on a TV program in my bedroom just to create some background as I finished preparations for the following day. I was immediately drawn into the drama of a missing baby who had possibly been abused or killed. Wrong choice! My own sensitivities knew that, but I ignored them. Fully drawn into the program, I learned that the baby was safely at a sitter’s home, but the story now shifted to two adult sisters who had been horribly abused as children. My choices were getting worse. Finally, I was wise enough to turn off the TV, but not before I had been emotionally overwhelmed, and very uncomfortably reminded of life experiences I would prefer to forget. I was suddenly much more focused on circumstances than I was on God, and I was wide-open to whatever lies Satan wanted to haunt my thinking with. As I showered, I prayed, asking for God’s cleansing and God’s peace – gifts that were given, but gifts that I would not have needed had I been more cautious.

 

Vulnerabilities. That was the lesson that laid before me. Vulnerabilities are part of our old nature, but we may have come by them through no fault of our own. Some are simply innate, part of our basic temperament, predetermined by our own DNA. Some are shaped by the unmet needs in our childhood that arise from broken homes, abuse, abandonment, or neglect. Others find themselves growing out of our failures, relationships that have soured, our losses, or simply, the unfairness of life as adults. We strengthen our vulnerabilities with our self-protection, our reactions, our habits, and the lies we believe. They lessen our resistance and seem bent on "making us" do the things we really don’t want to do. On top of that, others create labels for us that seem to separate us from other believers, make the lies louder, and build our resolve to self-protect. I really did not like the idea of exploring with a group of women a connection and a struggle that I understood all too well.

 

The One though who holds the answer to vulnerabilities was again declaring His faithfulness. He reminded me of truths I already knew. Vulnerabilities reveal basic needs that God wants to satisfy in and of Himself. They may never fully "go away," but we can learn to live with them while growing toward the potential that God has for us. Life does not define us. God does. My identity is found not in the circumstances of life, but in my relationship with Him. I am His child. And as His child, He longs to saturate and fill me with the truth of who He is and His desire to enable me. Not in spite of life’s unfairness, but because of it, He has given priceless gifts that wait for me to acknowledge them. His grace awaits my need while He whispers to my spirit, "I will watch over and care for you ... I will build you up and not tear you down. I will plant you and not uproot you. I will give you a heart that recognizes me as the Lord. You are my child, and I am your God."