Ever been in a situation in which you simply wanted to be heard? As women, frequently, that is all we ask of our husbands. We are frustrated, irritated, or disappointed, and our frustration, irritation, or disappointment becomes the topic of conversation in the first available moments we may have with him. We don’t need him to "fix" anything, logically analyze it, or find a solution – we just want him to hear us. (Okay, so maybe we would also like his undivided attention.) Sometimes the situation is far more critical. It may have been a character assault, a failure that happened despite the intensity of my efforts, a misunderstanding that distorted truth, or even the ugliness of divorce court, smeared with its lies and accusations. It may have been a reality that no one else seemed to see, but you did, and its impact was hurtful. Understanding and acceptance may have been longed for, but never extended, and judgment, or even, perceived judgment, took their place.. Sometimes, we simply want to be heard – to be listened to, to be understood, to be given credibility, to be given acceptance.

 

To be heard though, someone must listen, and not just with their ears. As in wanting the undivided attention of our husbands when we unload the disappointment or irritation that is eating at us, we want others too to listen in a way that we fully know we were heard. Their feedback, their empathy, or sometimes just their quietness that allows us to say all we really need to say, give to us the assurance that our words were heard, our thinking was accepted, and the intensities of our heart, were felt. We need that, and apart from those who truly listen, we will decide that things like openness and honesty and vulnerability, really aren’t worth it. We will become observers of others who appear to have life figured out and we will stuff our own feelings and emotions in the proverbial box and retreat inwardly to a far distant corner of reality. "Me, myself, and I" talks will become the inadequate, and sometimes even destructive, salve that we attempt to use to medicate the unexposed brokenness.

 

Easy solution? No, although I know God is the One we know who will always listen. I am encouraged with the concept in Psalm 86:1 and again in Psalm 102:2 that God bends down to listen to me when my heart is heavy, or even just ruffled, with the needs in my life. But again, God may want to use the ears of His children to be the ears that sometimes listen. I may not be able to assure that others will be the listening ears I sometimes need, but I can certainly choose to be those listening ears for the one who simply wants to be heard. Like the younger ones in kindergarten, I can actively respond to the inquiry, "Do you have your listening ears on?"